The Adoption Process: Emotions, Choices, and Legalities

Whether you’re a hopeful adoptive parent looking to expand your family, or a step-parent wanting to make matters official with your step-child, adoption is an exciting yet challenging process to navigate from the moment that you decide to do it. Below we will dive into the emotional journey of adoption from the decision to active parenthood. 

The Decision to Adopt

The adoption process is a deeply personal journey to embark upon, no matter what your circumstances are. A few of the common reasons many people adopt include…

• Infertility: Many couples choose adoption when they’re experiencing infertility. When medical treatments like IVF don’t work, adoption is a route that can be taken to fulfill prospective parent’s dreams of having a family.  
• Desire to provide a safe, loving home: Oftentimes people feel called to provide a safe, loving home to a child that may not otherwise have the opportunity for one.
• Expanding your family: A lot of times parents who already have biological children wish to expand their family by adopting. This is a personal choice that can stem from a variety of different reasons, like an inability to birth additional biological children for medical reasons, the desire to provide a safe home as stated above, the desire to give your existing children siblings, etc.
• Personal and spiritual beliefs: Adoption is often a part of someone’s personal or spiritual beliefs. Many religions view adoption as a compassionate act. 
• Experience or history with adoption: Some might feel strongly about adopting if they’ve been adopted themselves or have a relative who was. 

Choosing adoption as a path to parenthood is something that deserves careful thought and consideration. To do so, you should understand that there may be initial emotions and uncertainties that are challenging to navigate. For example, you might be excited by the thought of adoption, or you might be afraid of what’s to come and whether you’re fit to take on a role like that. It’s imperative that you remember it’s okay to feel the way that you do, and consider enlisting the help of an adoption attorney who can not only help you understand the legalities of adoption, but provide you with emotional support throughout the process. 

The Adoption Process

Before we dive into the legal process of adoption, let’s take a look at the different types. 

–Domestic adoption is a term used to describe the adoption process when the birth parents, adoptive parents and child live in the United States. 

–International adoptionrefers to the adoption process when the adoptive parents live in the United States, but the child lives in a different country. 

-Open adoptionrefers to an adoption process that allows adoptive parents and biological parents to be in contact. While the adoptive parents will have legal decision-making rights over the child, the biological parents can be involved during the adoption process and make contact after it’s over. 

-Closed adoption refers to the exact opposite of open adoption, where no contact between the adoptive parents and biological parents is allowed. 

Steps

According to the Alabama Department of Human Resources, the steps of adoption include: 

1. Meeting Adoption Requirements – you must be 19+ years of age, if married, the duration of your marriage must be at least 3 years, if married you or your spouse has to be a citizen, you must have adequate housing, be in good health so you can meet the child’s needs, and willing to undergo a background check. 
2. Application Submittal – online inquiry form must be filled out so that an adoption application can be mailed to you. 
3. Trauma Informed Partnering for Permanence and Safety – TIPS is a mandatory program intended to educate potential adoptive families on a variety of relevant topics. 
4. Your Approval as An Adoptive Resource – Wait for approval from the Department of Human Resources.
5. Background Information & Pre-Placement Visits – When you’re selected as a potential adoptive parent, you’re given the chance to review background information and get answers to any questions or concerns you might have. If you decide that you might be able to parent the child, you can meet them during a pre-placement visit. If you decide to move forward, the child/children will be able to be placed in your home upon the signing of a placement agreement.
6. Legal Action –After the child/children are placed in your home for at least three months, the next step is the process of sanction by the court system that the child is legally your own. The social worker will give you the Department’s Consent to Adopt, so that you can start the legal process in the Probate Court. While an attorney isn’t required for this, they can help you avoid mistakes that might delay the process. 
7. Adoption – Once the legal process is done, forever can begin. This is an exciting new journey, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be difficulties, as well. 

 Emotional Challenges & Building the Bond

There are a unique set of challenges attached to adoption that you’ll likely have to conquer early on once your child begins staying with you, including but not limited to:

• Attachment issues – It can be difficult for parents and children both to attach to one another initially. It will take time for you to get comfortable and for your child to trust you.
• Sibling and family dynamics – If you have biological children, or other adopted children, it will take time for siblings to mesh. It may be difficult for an adopted child to bond if they feel like an outsider, so it’s crucial that you ensure they understand that they are a part of your family unit now. Don’t exhibit any forms of favoritism. 
• Trauma – Children who’ve experienced trauma might have social, emotional and behavioral challenges when settling into your family. Early childhood trauma occurs in children ages 0-6. 
• And more!

Embracing Parenthood

As you begin to navigate your newfound parenthood, it’s imperative that you keep an open mind and open heart as this is an adjustment for both you and your child. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed, concerned, lost, and emotional, but remember why you wanted to start the process in the first place. Even though the legal steps are complete, your journey is far from over. Now is the time to bond with your child, get to know them and help them settle into their new home. 

How Word Family Law Group Can Help You

If you’re looking to begin the process of adoption as a hopeful parent, grandparent, or step-parent, we can help. Word Family Law Group is passionate about advocating for your rights and working to help you reach the best possible outcome. Call now to request a consultation and learn about your next steps.