Getting a divorce is never a part of the plan when you vow to spend forever with someone, but sometimes paths and circumstances change and divorce is a necessary step to moving forward with your life. However, no two divorces are the same because everyone has individual needs and reasons for pursuing the process, so how a marriage comes to its end will look different for every couple. Below we’ll dive into two methods of divorcing: mediation and litigation. We’ll discuss the differences between the two and how to choose which one is the right path for you.
Mediation
Mediation is a less formal process to divorce that helps couples avoid court, high costs, and unpredictable outcomes that typically come along with litigation. This is a method that is best suited for couples who wish for a more civilized divorce that allows for peaceful negotiations and reaching their own terms.
Steps
Step 1: Both parties agree to the mediation process.
Step 2: Select your mediator. This doesn’t have to be a lawyer, but utilizing a lawyer as a mediator can offer you several advantages. For example, their knowledge of your rights and responsibilities, as well as divorce law, can ensure you stay legally compliant and are fully aware of your options throughout the process. They can also help you save money as you can direct any legal concerns or questions in their direction instead of having separate legal consultations with both a mediator and lawyer.
Step 3: Scheduling a time and place for your sessions. Before you attend a session, make sure you’ve gathered any necessary documentation you may need.
Step 4: Begin sessions. Your mediator will explain the process, rules and responsibilities of each party throughout mediation. There are what’s called “private caucuses,” in which you meet one-on-one with the mediator in a room separate from your spouse.
Step 5: Negotiating the agreement. Your mediator will help guide discussions so that you and your spouse can amicably set the terms of your divorce. This will include things like child custody, visitation, distribution of assets, and more.
Step 6: Drafting the agreement.
Step 7: Attorney review. This is where having a lawyer as your mediator comes in handy as it will allow you to kill two birds with one stone. It’s important to have an attorney review your agreement to ensure that it accurately reflects your intentions and protects your rights.
Step 8: Finalizing agreement.
Step 9: Court approval (if required)
Step 10: Implementation. Following the set terms.
Pros of Mediation
- Less expensive
- Offers more privacy
- More control
- Open communication
- Less stress and conflict
Cons of Mediation
- No guaranteed resolution
- Mediation is typically harder to enforce because it’s of a voluntary nature.
Litigation: What Are The Steps, Pros & Cons
Litigation occurs when two spouses can’t agree on the terms of their divorce. When one spouse files a divorce complaint, it’s a way of officially asking that the court decide the outcome of the divorce when it comes to matters like custody, child visitation, asset distribution, and more. This process usually follows a path of contention and can be more stressful, time-consuming and expensive in comparison to mediation.
Step 1: Get an attorney. Divorce is a serious legal matter that should be navigated with experienced representation, and is necessary in litigation. Each spouse will hire their own.
Step 2: Filing. One spouse typically files a divorce complaint, and the other spouse has a certain amount of time to respond to the complaint.
Step 3: Discovery is the next step that takes place outside of the courtroom. It involves both parties bringing and exchanging information and can also lead to the discovery of unknown documentation.
Step 4: Temporary orders are another step of a litigated divorce in which a judge can issue temporary child custody, child support, spousal support, and more.
Step 5: Negotiation and settlement attempts. Both attorneys will negotiate to establish terms surrounding issues like custody, child and spousal support, asset distribution, and more.
Step 6: If no settlement is reached, a trial takes place and each side will present their case to a judge.
Step 7: Final judgment. A judge will evaluate both parties’ case and give final orders on the rights and responsibilities of both spouses. If either party disagrees with the orders, they can appeal the judgment, and the state court of appeals will make the final decision, though they typically favor a judge’s order.
Step 8: Implementation of terms.
Pros of Litigation
- Clear and binding resolution decided on by an outside party
- Structured process
- Court-ordered enforcement
Cons of Litigation
- Expensive
- Lengthy process
- Emotionally draining
- Decided on by someone who doesn’t know you or your relationship with your spouse
The Importance Of Recognizing Your Circumstance
You likely have friends or family that have been through a divorce at some point in time, and even if you don’t, you’re probably familiar with the preconceived notion that divorce can be a challenging and emotionally trying experience. While it’s a significant life event that often involves complex decisions, emotional ups and downs, and adjustments to a new way of living, divorce looks different for everyone. That’s why it’s important that you understand your own circumstances and needs when it comes to divorce, because despite what you’ve heard from a best friend, aunt, or parent, your divorce will be different. For instance, you might have only heard of divorces being highly contentious (a typical stereotype of divorce) but you might have a spouse who prefers to leave arguments and drama out of your divorce, in which case mediation might be possible. On the flip side, you might wish you and your spouse could keep things civil, but you’re married to someone who is intent on creating conflict during the process. Regardless, it’s important to choose the method that makes the most sense for your life going forward.
Call Word Family Law Group
If you’re contemplating divorce and you’d like to try mediation with your spouse or you’re prepared for litigation, we’re here to help you through either process. Our seasoned divorce attorney, Christopher P. Word has 15 years of experience navigating clients through mediation and litigation. At Word Family Law Group we understand how difficult divorce can be, which is why we’re passionate about helping our clients with tough transitions like these. Call today to request a consultation and learn about your next steps!
